- Don’t try to ignore the problem.
- Don’t make excuses for your spouse’s behavior.
- Don’t try to protect your spouse from the consequences of their behaviors.
- Don’t put their needs ahead of your own, or those of your children.
- Don’t give them money, especially when you know (or strongly suspect) they will use it to buy alcohol or another drug.
- Don’t blame yourself or anyone else for your spouse’s behaviors.
Though it may be difficult, it’s also essential to not resent your spouse. Addiction is a disease. People who have developed a substance use disorder don’t act in such a destructive manner because they want to. They act this way because they are compelled to do so, and because they have lost the ability to control themselves.