My addiction put my family through something they were never meant to experience.
I swore I’d never touch drugs, but it happened. Once I started smoking weed, I justified taking pills, then doing a little coke. I kept justifying until I needed to stick a needle in my arm to get out of bed in the morning. Buying, using, and hiding my addiction was a 24-hour grind. I couldn’t shake the constant, bone-chilling fear of knowing that I needed to use to get through the day, but I had no means of getting what I needed.
I started putting myself in dangerous situations that I would never have dreamed of. Eventually, my friends and family cut me off because of all the pain and heartache I was causing them. I always thought I was only hurting myself when I was in active addiction. I never realized that my family suffered the same amount of pain and heartache that I did.
I was willing to do whatever it took to prevent myself from going back to that lifestyle.
Addiction beat me down, but fortunately, I had people looking out for me that got me into treatment. I went to a meeting my first day out and raised my hand. The other men at that meeting took me under their wing and gave me suggestions along the way. I surrounded myself with them all the time, even outside of the meeting. Sometimes they would play golf or go fishing, and anything that they did I was right there with them. After I went to a few meetings, I found someone that I could really relate to, and I asked him to be my sponsor. As he took me through the twelve steps, the obsession to do drugs was slowly removed. It wasn’t easy, but it meant that I didn’t have to rely on a chemical to get through the day.
Take advice. Let somebody else make the right decisions for you until you can make them yourself.
I’m not a millionaire by any means. I still have rough days and deal with life’s problems, but it’s nothing that I can’t handle with help from my sober support. By next fall I plan on going back to school to study marine biology. It’s something I’ve always been passionate about, and now that I live in Florida I have the perfect opportunity to pursue it.
I’m included in things today, like going out and doing fun activities with my friends. When I was getting high, I was such a toxic, shady person that nobody wanted anything to do with me. I have been rebuilding my relationship with my mother, and I’m starting to gain back the trust that I lost over the years. Now I spend my days helping other people who are struggling in the same situation I was. It’s unbelievably gratifying because it’s a constant reminder of what life was like back then.
The best part about being sober is being able to sleep at night without constant fear and worry creeping over me.