Life is a journey, not a race.
My alcoholism started out as recreational drinking that eventually developed into more. All the while, I functioned at a normal level. I never had trouble with the law. I graduated college. I even had a career and financed my own apartment and car. Everything looked good and stable on the outside, but internally I was suffering.
I was a textbook functioning alcoholic.
I didn’t notice how destructive my patterns, relationships and life had gotten until I finally reached a point of desperation. Lessons from my religious upbringing weighed heavy on my heart. I knew the way I was living wasn’t the life I was meant to live. I wasn’t proud of who I saw in the mirror, and I often didn’t recognize myself. I hit a spiritual bottom, but luckily there was only one way to go from there.
My addiction was so well hidden that it surprised my father when I finally told him I was suffering. I was ashamed, but I knew I needed help. I couldn’t do it on my own. My father was incredibly supportive. He was the one who helped get me into treatment.
I wanted sobriety more than anything.
I got sober by following the suggestions of other alcoholics and addicts. I listened and put into action everything I was told so I never had to feel the incomprehensible demoralization that I felt before getting help. I did the twelve steps with a sponsor and attended a meeting every day. Now, I continue to help others along the way. I find there’s room to grow on a daily basis. I make sure I’m feeding my mind, body and soul continuously.
Recovery feels like internal and mental peace.
Before recovery, I felt the need to always be doing something or going somewhere. I was uncomfortable in my mind and my skin. Recovery allows me to sit still. I no longer need to escape from myself. I am right where I need to be. My soul is weightless as long as I am working a program and keeping God on my side. Before I got sober, I still had a great connection with God, but I was always praying for help. The best thing about being clean and sober is that when I pray, it’s usually for others now. I get to see other people’s lives change. Because of recovery, I can process a situation and not be selfish with my intentions.