Give yourself an honest chance.
Being young and insecure, it was easy for me to start using. Drugs were available, and I was curious. Though, peer pressure probably was a factor too. Everyone knows drugs are bad, but I didn’t put much thought into the decision.
I started using, never thinking addiction would happen to me.
However, what began as a way to have fun quickly became total entrapment. In my addiction, I felt completely alone even when surrounded by a group of people. My family also started to keep their distance. They were right not to trust me. I was completely unreliable. As time went on, their utter helplessness was obvious, and their hope for my future was fading. Though it was hard to see them suffering so much, I was feeling the same hopelessness and desperation. I used more drugs to help ease that pain.
Years went by, and I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was tired of reliving the same day, of never being productive. I could no longer bare what I was putting my son through. No kid should have to be exposed to things like that. I was so tired of being tired that in October 2006, I finally was able to get clean for good.
You are going to want to give up. Don’t give up.
Recovery for me is complete freedom. I can’t even explain how good it feels. I can live my life now. I can breathe. I can smile. I live honestly and am able to be part of meaningful relationships, especially with my wife and three healthy, amazing kids. Without drugs, my children can emotionally connect with me. I am both physically and mentally there for them now. I can help them through their issues, so they don’t follow the same path I did. I never want anyone to go down that road.
My story is now one of hope.
I want to use it to make a real change in a world with so many people suffering at the hands of addiction. I spend my free time paying it forward for this second chance I was given. I speak at support groups and serve as a sponsor to those still struggling.
Even ten years later, I stay sober one day at a time and continue to work on myself. I try always to stay positive. You never know how much someone might need a little positivity in their life.