Forget everything you think you know. Humble yourself. Deflate your ego.
My addiction started because I felt like I could be anyone or do anything when I was high. I finally felt comfortable, and I had never felt comfortable before. I started with smoking weed, and eventually graduated to opiates. As soon as I picked up harder drugs, my disease progressed before I knew what was happening.
I was always looking for an escape from everyday life.
My typical day consisted of waking up in the morning and desperately looking for any drugs I had left over from the night before. I would tiptoe around the house, waiting for my mom to leave her purse so I could steal money or take something to the pawn shop. I was on a first name basis with the pawn shop employees, and nothing that would help me get a fix was out of the question. Aside from losing trust, I damaged relationships with my family members in ways I never thought possible.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Desperation was the only thing that got me to where I am today. I didn’t succeed the first couple of times I tried to get sober because I was too stubborn to follow directions. When I finally accepted help from Ambrosia’s rehab in West Palm Beach, FL and the people who came before me, I noticed I started to feel better. Today I depend on my friends and my brothers in sobriety to keep me accountable and on the right track. Real friendship is something I yearned for my entire life. My friends today are always there when I need them, and don’t just hang around me to party.
It wasn’t until I surrendered that my life started to change.</h4
Today, my relationship with my higher power is vital. If I am spiritually sound, I know I can make It through any challenge life throws at me. I have goals and plans for my future, and I feel like I finally have the confidence to go out and achieve them. I abide by healthy boundaries with my parents, and I am proud of my career today. I now have a purpose, and I feel that I fit in. That’s a feeling I have been searching for my whole life.
The process of addiction recovery reminds me of when I was younger, and I played sports with the older kids. You are constantly getting knocked down which makes you feel inadequate, but when you finally get the hang of it, someone is always there to pat you on the back, provide guidance, and help you along the way. I feel like now I am one of the “older kids” and can pass on this feeling to my fellow struggling addicts, and it’s a feeling like no other.