Addiction Forum Question

Forum Question
3 Comments
HopetrackerA3 A Mom From FL

Why can't they just stop?

When I was little, my dad was a raging alcoholic. Nothing could make him stop drinking until my mom threatened to leave him and take us away. So, when my own husband started showing the same warning signs, I immediately laid down the law. It breaks my heart, but it's gotten to the point where I’ve been reduced to threatening my husband with divorce. I thought that would’ve been enough, but my husband is un-phased. Is it me? Am I not enough for him to quit drinking?
Wife39 My husband is back in rehab for a second visit after unsuccessfully staying sober 4 days after returning from his first attempt. We have an 8m old daughter and he has an 8 year old son from a previous marriage. He lost custody of G and I am currently filing for separation/divorce and requesting that he only have supervised visits with our daughter. I don't know if this will be enough to get him sober. But, I will stick to my boundary and he can do what he wants. If we are not enough for him, that sucks for him, not me.
Wife17 I asked myself this question a million times until I learned that addiction is more powerful than any consequence or relationship. I thought our marriage would be enough for my husband to stop but it wasn't until he got to his own internal place of willingness and desperation that he did the work necessary to recover. It helped when everyone who loved him no longer bought into his excuses and set a boundary that treatment was his only option.
Olivia K As Al-Anon teaches us, you did not cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Through education, support and working on himself, he will have the best chances at recovery. You can play a role in encouraging him to make the right decision and go to treatment by setting boundaries that will help you protect yourself from the addiction.