Addiction Forum Question

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Mom40 A Mom From MO

What is a moms role in a daughters depression?

I don’t know what to say or do when my daughter expresses her depression. I just want her to continue to have folks to talk to that know how it is, but I don’t know what to say.
Olivia K You can say honestly that you don’t know what to say right now, but you support and love her. And, even ask her how you can help and what you can say. Your honesty shows your genuine desire to help regardless of having the perfect words. People who suffer from depression tend to feel a lot of shame, so help her understand that she is suffering from an illness, not a weakness. When you have trouble finding words, validate her feelings without trying to “fix”. Sometimes actions such as giving her flowers, cooking a meal or sitting with her to watch a movie can do more than anything you could say. Make sure she understands that if she is feeling overwhelmed to the point of hurting herself or someone else she immediately ask for help. There are many great books, articles and talks (such as this one: https://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_solomon_depression_the_secret_we_share ) that can help bring about a healthy dialogue and understanding of what she is going through.