"What could I have done differently to prevent my child's addiction?"
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I used to blame myself all the time.. did I work too much when she was young? Did I yell and scare her into using? I learned by attending to support groups that we all did things differently and our kids still somehow ended up addicts. I now focus on what I can do moving forward to help her get better
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It is common for a parent to blame themselves for a child's addiction, but you did not cause this in the same way you cannot cause an allergy or diabetes. No person is powerful enough to cause addiction, and this is an important fact to accept so you can begin focusing on solutions for yourself and your family. Addiction is not limited to any one circumstance, socioeconomic class, culture or background. It is a disease with neurological, psychological and physical components that cannot be determined by an individual person.
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My son is in a sober house and he says he is working the 12 steps but his behaviors seem to indicate that he is “just going through the motions.” I firmly believe he wants sobriety but he thinks he can do it his way. He has had 6-7 relapses and just seems very lax. Today he asked me to pay his phone bill and I told him I could not do that. I explained that is not a way I can help him. I am doing better with that part but how do you really find serenity and learn not to worry constantly about what he is or isn’t doing? I try but find it so hard to not worry about if he is paying his bills, if he is using, etc. I need to separate myself from all of it but am having a hard time really letting go I guess. Any help or advice would be appreciated.
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