Addiction Forum Question

Forum Question
3 Comments
HopetrackerA3 A Mom From FL

Should I be drug testing my spouse?

I don't want my husband around our kids if he's using drugs. He always says he's not taking pills, but there have been a few times that I felt he might be lying. I don't think he'd react well if I asked him to take a drug test, but should I make him? What if he won't do it? Is there a way to secretly test him?
Julie S My Husband is unfortunately in the middle of a bad relapse, he is an alcoholic. I go to Al-anon and I learned it's not my job to babysit him and I need to focus on myself and let him feel the consequences of his addiction. He threw up all over the kitchen floor the other night and usually I would clean it right up - but I actually left it there and he had to see it in the morning and clean it up himself. Talk about humbling.
Wife17 I was told by my therapist to do what I needed to feel safe and secure in my home. That included drug testing if I had reason to believe my husband was using.
Olivia K If your spouse has a history of abusing substances, you have a right to ask him to take a drug test, especially when there are children involved. Healthy communication is key and most successful when done with the help of a therapist. Having a third party to assist will help with any resistance from him and encourage solutions should boundaries need to be set. It is never a good idea to try to secretly test anyone as this will only create resentment and offers little resolve.