Is it appropriate for me to ask my brother to dug test for the family?
He's the oldest and it feels weird to ask but I dont trust him. We dont trust him. He has his own apt, but when he come for family functions, he always drunk or high. We dont want him there like that. Can we put our foot down?
Wife17 Maybe meet with him and tell him that going forward if he is coming to a family function he must be sober, and that if you suspect he is not he will be asked to take a drug test. He needs to know that you will not minimize his addiction by overlooking it for the sake of family get-togethers. Think of it this way, if he showed up to a family function with a serious head wound, everyone there would stop what they're doing and urge him to get to an ER. Addiction needs to be treated the same way - the more you stay in the reality of how serious it is, the more likely he will see it too.
Kelly M Attending support groups for families like me has really taught me how to stick to my boundaries, and it sounds like setting that boundary for you guys would actually really benefit him , so I say definitely do it!