Addiction Forum Question

Forum Question
Stacy H A Mom From PA

I lost my Beautiful Daughter Samantha 05/10/2016

It has been over 2 1/2 years since I lost my Beautiful 23 year old Daughter . The pain is just as unbearable and raw today,as it was the day tradegy hit our Family. I know it’s something you never get over, but learning how to live without my only Daughter! My best Friend! Has been a living nightmare. Somedays I still think, it’s a nightmare and I’m gonna wake up. I feel as though my 22 year old Son is being neglected, of the love and attention he deserves, because of my grieving. It was his only sibling, I know it hasn’t been easy for him either. I feel like I resent my Husband, because it appears he can deal with it better and live life . I get mad and tell him, I glad it was so easy for you to get over , that he acts like I buried a puppy in the back yard. I know it’s not easy for him. I say that out of anger , because I feel all alone, sitting at home. Because that’s what I chose. He begs me to go with him, I refuse. We started a 5013c nonprofit in my Daughters memory that he stays busy with getting people into treatment and we bridge the gap upon completion of treatment into sober living homes ,by paying their 1st months rent. I’ve gone away for mental health ,for 10 days after a sucide attempt . It seemed to help for about a month. Then it was back to laying on the couch in self pity. Can I get any ideas from anyone that has attended a support group for Parents that lost a Child to overdoses . I have a great group of Women that lost Children to overdoses, that would love to start something in my area. Everytime I ask about it, they say there trying to make a format, for the group. For example how to open it up, like with a pray or have a different Parent get up every meeting and introduce their selves and say a little about their Child and their loss and how they deal with it. I’ve never attended this kind of group. I have attended meetings for families dealing with addiction, when my Daughter was here. It is very needed in Pennsylvania. We lost 10 loved ones in a 72 period, just in Scranton. I apologize for being all over the place. I guess any suggestions with anything I shared, would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Martha G I know it's hard. We lost our 24 year old son in 2014. What helped me was a combination of things: I attended GriefShare group. (it meets for 12 weeks -- I attended twice, for a total of 24 weeks). I see an individual grief therapist. (still going, 4 years later, but not every week, only twice a month) There are groups on FB for grieving mothers. I am in several of those. It's a good place to talk things out. I also journal I hope these ideas help you. It's a tough journey to lose a child. xo
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. Parents often share how the loss of a child becomes about finding ways to learn to live with the pain rather than trying to recover from it. Many find comfort in connecting with others...for some that might mean a support group or other parents who are grieving, for others it might be something as simple as meeting friends for dinner. I understand your feelings towards your husband. It helps to know that everyone grieves in their own way and how one person copes might seem completely absurd to someone else....the pain is the same, but it manifests differently. It is important to find ways to heal together as a family...I think it is wonderful that you started something in your daughter's memory. Being of service to others is a wonderful outlet, but first and foremost you must take care of yourself. Starting a support group is a great way to connect and heal - there are organizations such as GRASP (Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing) that might give some direction on format or meetings already taking place in your area. Stay connected with those women who those times of darkness it is tempting to isolate but that is when you need others the most. Keep fighting for yourself and taking action towards healing... seek counseling and practice self-care even though you might not feel like it. While nothing can ever take away the pain of losing a child, trust that there is a way to find some serenity in the midst of your grief.