"How do you stop enabling"
Asked by Roseann Didonato Seen by 180
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I personally fail in that area because of the emotional high I’m on when my son completes rehab and is doing better. I then let my guard down and forget to look for the warning signs and be proactive by sticking to our written agreement. I’ve learned with addiction you must always be on guard and ready to use available tools and resources provided by counselors and support group
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The first step is to get support for yourself. Just like an addict needs other people to stay sober, loved ones need support to break the cycle of enabling. Changing your behavior will mean confronting uncomfortable emotions so it is essential to have help and accountability from a counselor/support group. I also suggest developing an agreement before your loved one leaves treatment that outlines what you are both committing to in order to move forward. This is best done with the inpatient therapist and followed up with an outpatient therapist so the plan of action for recovery is ongoing. It gives a sense of security when, for example, relapse warning signs come up. This way you have direction and can refer to the plan you both outlined ahead of time.
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