Addiction Forum Question

Forum Question
1 Comment
Susan S A Mom From MD

How can a family support recovery especially interms of finding sober living without becoming controlling and /or enabling. Is it important to send a message that stresses success rather than suspicion?

Our daughter has been in and out of rehab and recovery many times and seems unable to accept the need for continued monitoring as she transitions. Failure seems to follow her and nothing we have tried to do is helpful.
Olivia K First, make sure you are getting support for yourself and connect with other parents who have been through this journey... the more centered you are, the better your chances of properly supporting her are. That being said, take yourself out of the driver's seat and rely on professional recommendations for her treatment and/or sober living. Being a parent of someone struggling with addiction is overwhelming and you need guidance just as you would from a doctor when dealing with any family member's illness. This means seeking referrals or recommendations from an addiction professional, therapist, or aftercare coordinator. Ultimately it is up to her to take the suggestions but if you are helping her financially, make sure going forward it will be based on a plan that is developed with help from a clinician. Trust takes time to build back, and while you do want to encourage success, you also have a right to check stories and err on the side of caution to protect yourself. There is a saying "one on one with an addict you will always lose", so if you find yourself unsure of what to say or do, insist on communicating with a therapist present.